February 9, 2009

Whoa stop me, I think I’m spiraling into an anti-social abyss. I don’t want to see anyone… for a week!

So Google has this creepy new service called Latitude that uses GPS/WIFI/The Powers That Be to locate users on a map, for extreme stalking purposes. Okay, my words, not Google’s. While I think this is an interesting use of technology, just from a geek standpoint, it’s also clearly a restraining order waiting to happen. I can imagine myself some girl slipping a cell phone into an unsuspecting hunk’s pocket. “Oh hi! Fancy meeting you here!”, “No way! You go to Dr. Latimer too?!”, “YOU AGAIN!!! What are the odds?! Oh… this is your backyard?”

Thing is, I’m a fan of flimsy excuses. If I tell someone that I can’t go see Bride Wars because I have to pick up my aunt at the airport, I don’t want them knowing that I’m actually at home playing Halo 3 in my underwear. Also, I don’t want so-and-so to know when I’m picking up red velvet cupcakes right around the corner from their apartment because I know they’ll call me up and say “what, you’re in the area and you don’t call, you lousy shitbag?”

So… I installed it on my phone. I added one friend – someone who doesn’t even live in the same city as me. You know – just to see how it works. I won’t be adding anyone else cause… you know… that’s just messed up. It’s pretty funny when I get text messages from him like “Peel and Ste. Catherine street, eh?”, although if this person wasn’t my friend, it would be absolutely terrifying. This morning, I located him in the middle of what looked like a giant field. I texted him to say “what gives?” and it turns out that he was at the Toronto airport. So fun. He didn’t tell me his destination so I’ll be stalking him later on today to find out where in the world is Carmen Sandiego.

Fun. Creepy. Fascinating. Terrifying. Delightful.

Right up my alley.


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